Things that are ridiculous about office buildings in Midtown

Midtown Manhattan is my least favorite part of the city. Seriously. New York is wonderful and world-class, but Midtown is horrible, crowded, depressing, lonely, expensive, and The Worst.

Here is a list of things that are insane about Midtown and the absurd high-rise office buildings in which I temp:

1. The toilet paper dispensers that allow you less that one revolution of toilet paper, and them roll back in the opposite direction

2. Unrelenting air conditioning that makes your hands stiff, and which induces illness when you experience a 30 degree temperature shift walking in the building

3. The absurd security processes whereby I have to give my driver’s license every morning or maybe just walk in and nobody cares, but either way, I feel less safe than I should

4. Securitized elevators, in which your building pass determines which floor you can go to (actually this is pretty cool, but it is also insane)

5. Not having a coffee maker, but rather a Keurig in the kitchen, which means there is never coffee

6. All these blue shirts

7. The constant and interminable line at the Chipotle on 52nd Street

8. The way pedestrians behave, full stop

9. The way bitchy older ladies with huge diamond rings look at you when you sit down on the 5 train, while they are forced to stand, oh the indignity

10. The total lack of personal private space

11. Grand Central Station being the same temperature inside as it is outside, only with more people smells

12. The way people look at you when you change into high heels in the elevator

13. $12 salads


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