(A caveat, I did work today, but for my fun, seasonal, do-this-at-home-in-my pjs job.)
Today, I woke up with no alarm, I bought a Groupon for a facial and massage for $45, ate breakfast while watching a show, went to yoga, walked over to DeKalb Market, which I have been meaning to do all year, procured some new knitting needles, walked home, ate lunch, watched a baseball game and worked on my knitting project, which I decided is going to be a cowl. I feel rested and happy.
Never once did I worry about work tomorrow, the joy of low-responsibility employment.
What I did think about was far more interesting. I thought about ways to integrate goal-setting into a larger Theory of Change map that I want to develop for my friend’s business (we had a great meeting yesterday). Capacity building and strategic planning for individual artists and small nonprofits is work that I really enjoy and find challenging and fun.
I bought (with credit card points, yay for Amazon.com) a book on Industrial-Organizational psychology, a new interest of mine. Well, not a new interest, but a recently identified field of study that I clearly really care about and find interesting. The other day, when I found my dream job–conducting management and leadership training for non-profits–I realized that I want to start to balance my own experience in the nonprofit arts (almost 10 years) with some formal research and study. Anyway, a new goal is emerging.
I have a job interview tomorrow that I will prepare for, and later I will make dinner and maybe watch a movie.
The thing is, in order to really enjoy a weekend, you have to have a week. I think one of the reasons that my long period of unemployment was so difficult to deal with was that I literally did no work for almost 3 months. At first it was fun. But then it was just a lonely, stressful, boring, interminable period filled with a lot of sadness and self-recrimination. I remember telling a friend, “this is not who I am–I love to work.” And I do, I just have some pretty strong feelings about how I should be treated while I’m there.
I feel really positive right now, and not just because I am genuinely excited for all the jobs I have interviewed for in the past few days. If one of them works out, I will be overjoyed, and not just relieved. Part of this has to do with the fact that I have places to be every day, I am busy, but not overworked and feeling abused. I take my temp job seriously and I do a good job, but I leave work at work, and I don’t let it keep me up at night. This feels more normal, more sustainable. (This is working?)