Today is one of those bad days. I didn’t apply for any jobs last week, and although I had two interviews, I am not sure when or if I will hear from those organizations again. I’m feeling a little down, tired, frustrated.
So much of my day is determined by how I feel right when I wake up. This sets the tone for the day I am about to have, and the rest of my morning just builds, either positively or negatively, on top of that feeling. This morning, I woke up at 7am, but with a pain in my shoulder from an old back problem. It usually goes away, but because I haven’t been exercising as much recently, it flares up more often and in a more painful way.
I got out of bed about 15 minutes later than I should have, but I managed to take care of all the things I needed to before leaving for work. I left the house without my water bottle, no big deal, and set on my merry way.
It’s getting chilly in the morning, but today was very nice on my street. As I turned onto the bigger street that leads to my train station, there was a man slapping his palm together, talking about killing someone who lived in “that building.” He was really mad about the building, you guys. Mental illness, no matter how it presents itself, can be difficult to watch as it unfolds in public, but this guy was talking about some weird violence at 8:15am. Not my favorite.
Then I saw an awesome baby, which is always a pleasure. I got to the train, and was happy to discover that I had already refilled my Metrocard.
But having gotten on the train, I realized that my car filled with an odd maniacal laughter courtesy of a young man at the other end of the train. he was giggling uncontrollably with his back to most of the people, cackling and saying ‘this train is going to crash!” While certainly not the worst case of on-the-MTA psychotic behavior I have witnessed, this guy was sweating, laughing, dancing, and talking in a way that was unnerving.
I let these two guys really invade my mind this morning. In part because I don’t have a morning ritual, and I don’t eat breakfast, I think I am too apt to allow other people to set my mood for the day. I am too often reacting, and not setting intentions for myself.
I used to watch a show in bed every morning (The Office, no kidding), a bad habit that I need to completely break. I should either be resting, or getting up and getting on with my day. I wish I could say this was a temporary symptom of sadness over my job predicament, but my morning malaise is actually worse when I have a full-time job.
I feel certain that when I get my “real job,” I will have to implement some kind of morning ritual for myself. Wake up, shower, breakfast, reading–something to make my day feel like it starts on my terms, and not just when I get to work. Maybe just coffee at home?
I am simply too old not to have a morning routine. I know many parents who talk about how much of their day happens before work, and I kind of need that for myself. Not that I want to wake up at 5am, but that I could wake up 45 minutes earlier and wander around my house, listen to the news or do some quick yoga.
I would love to hear some of your morning routines! Post them in the comments. Nobody will judge, least of all me.