I am definitely going to the knitting store at lunch today, as it is another day of despair at the temporary office.
I feel trapped in old resentments, in part because I feel like I have lost my vision of the fields in which I work. I don’t know what’s going on in theater any more, and I haven’t set foot in a theater to work in six years. I don’t know what’s going on in philanthropy, because I gave up on being allowed to work or professionally network in the field. All I see right now are failures and mistake (both my own, and those of the organizations in the arts). I have started caring more about gossip than evidence. I don’t see the innovations, the new ides, the solutions. I have given up on seeing them.
I have to change my outlook. I got so accustomed to hearing “no” that now I say it to myself. I can make a list a page long of reasons why I can’t do something, or problems that I see. I need to start saying yes.
YES, also, to new knitting needles.
Update! I bought the knitting needles, and I got myself a delicious carrot cake cupcake. I am going to make myself a scarf this week. I will show you guys a picture of it.