This Isn’t Temping: I am in trouble

Here are something that are happening at my temp job that are making me feel really uncomfortable. As you know, I worked at home last week on a variety of projects, using remote access from the server. Apparently, this is not okay, despite the fact that I was given permission to stay home and the walk-bus-walk commute would have taken three hours.

I received several emails over the weekend (sent to my work email account) reminding me just how crucial is was that I arrive at work on Monday, which was never a question, and only contingent on the 4/5 train sunning in to Manhattan again, which it is:

  •  “Also, we will be full staff in the office on Monday.  Pretty much everyone made it in on Thursday and Friday.”
  •  “Just wanted to say I am looking forward to seeing you in the office in the morning.  It’s a BIG week for us!”
  • And this, which was sent on Sunday night: “Glad to have you back in the office!”

And then, just now, my boss’s boss’s boss threw “Hey , I haven’t seen you in a week!” at me as she walked through the office. Seriously?

This is activating my intense guilt and feelings of shame and anger that I have about:

1) not being so committed to this job that I would come in during a partial MTA shutdown;

2) that I am a temp and I am angry and incredulous that this kind of passive-aggressive pressure is being put on me  when I get paid by someone else by the hour;

3) that I am a temp, period. I hate being an administrative assistant;

4) that all they want is for me to be here, and be present, even though I have very little to do.

Honestly, I am upset, but I know I need to not take any of this personally and just move on with a smile on my face.

This would be a lot easier to do if I wasn’t being asked to plan another girl’s birthday party (whose birthday is the same as mine). I feel really gross right now. I need to work through this, and, again, not take it personally. But I don’t know if I know how to do that.

I wish I was spending the day volunteering, helping with the recovery.

1 comment
  1. Girl, I need to get to that place. At least you have shown me that it’s possible.

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