I was just home for Thanksgiving, and I talked with several people who were also unemployed, or graduating soon, with few prospects, or who had recently had a long period of unemployment. Everyone has such kindness and patience, and lots of advice. I was afraid that my family would be disappointed in me, but it was definitely not the case.
It made me feel a little guilty for quitting a good job with benefits. But I still maintain that the financial upside was not enough to balance out the verbal and psychological abuse I (and the rest of the staff) was being subjected to.
But it also made me feel a lot less alone. My dad told me that there are a bunch of recent graduate school graduates from his yoga class who are unemployed. There are a lot of people like me out there, which alleviates my fear that hiring managers will look down on me for having a “gap” on my resume.
However, it also reminded me that the arts always have a weird hiring/hr culture. It is really personality driven, highly dependent on personal referrals or familiarity with certain organizations (I am convinced that I get half of my interviews because people this my old workplace is cool, not because they like my resume), and completely idiosyncratic.
But really, my dear is that I still don’t know what my goal is and therefore I can’t make a compelling case for my candidacy at a candy shop, let alone an arts organization. My friend asked me on Saturday, “what is your dream job?” and I still don’t have an answer. I am so weighed down with seeing problems, I still don’t see the good things. It’s my consultant mentality.
I think the answer is probably that there isn’t one job for me; I will be happiest when I am doing three cool things. The problem is the health insurance. So maybe I need to do three cool things in France?